Are Writers Prone to Depression?
August 3rd, 2009 by (Michy)
I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, even back when I was a little kid. My mama used to call me her “melancholy baby” while my sister was her “sunshine girl”. All my life, I’ve been prone to a clinical depression – not being depressed, but clinical depression, the medical condition.
This doesn’t mean I’m an unhappy person.
What it does mean is that I have to watch myself very closely for signs of depression, such as isolation, fixation on certain things, loss of pleasure and enjoyment over things I love, etc and all of this with no real cause or reason.
Somewhere along the way, we all get ‘depressed’ about something. The difference between someone who gets depressed and someone with depression is like the difference between someone who has muscle aches from working out versus someone who hurts from the pain of cancer – one is situational and goes away and the other is a medical condition that may or may not have been prompted by a situation and it often doesn’t go away on its own but needs medical intervention.
I’m not ashamed to say I sometimes take antidepressants. For the last year, I’ve been taking Cymbalta, because there is some clinical evidence Cymbalta does helps with widespread pain as well as depression, and since I hurt all the time (and I do mean all the freaking time) it’s supposed to help.
I can’t tell for sure if it helps with pain, but I can tell you for sure it helps with mood. The Cymbalta allows me to be me.
Now, looking back on my life, I see so many times when some of the best writing I’ve ever done has been in the midst of a terrible depression – whether situational or medical – and I have the writers forum now where others there, an overwhelmingly large proportion of folks, all have some form of depression, social anxiety, or mood disorder.
Being a writer doesn’t make you depressed, but there is definitely something to the theory that a large percentage of writers do suffer from some sort of psychiatric medical condition, depression being the most common of them all, with anxiety appearing a close second.
And this doesn’t mean that my writing that is so good when I’m ‘depressed’ is all morbid, sad, melancholy, or depressing. In fact, I’ve written some quite lighthearted stuff while depressed. It’s just that to touch that really deep part of me where the very best writing comes from, I have to go down into that well where the depression resides, and then write from that very emotive place.
When I’m not depressed, I have found that being absolutely exhausted makes me write better too. Well, the typos run rampant, but the ‘emotiveness’ of the writing is better when I’m either depressed or exhausted.
I think one reason for this is because the ‘inner critic’ gets shut off when depressed or exhausted. That little something in my ego that kicks and screams and runs tapes that say, “You aren’t good enough… you can’t, you shouldn’t, stop dreaming, blah blah blah, etc etc etc…” that part of me gets turned off and I can just do what I do best: write.
What about you? When do you write best? Are you prone to depression?
I read this article: http://articles.latimes.com/1996-05-02/local/me-65179_1
Of note: “80% of poets, 80.5% of novelists and 87.5% of playwrights.” [Suffer from some form of mental psychiatric disorder, mostly depression.]
80%.
Makes me glad I’m not a playwright, right?
Don’t become a poet. Apparently, successful poets are more likely to never have a ‘complete sexual union’, whatever that means. I’m a poet, but I’m pretty sure sexual union isn’t something I’ve had issue with.
Depression on the other hand….
It only takes a quick Google Search to see that depression and writing are often linked hand in hand.
I’m curious to hear your thoughts about this: do you think depression and writing are connected? If so, how and why?
Something to ponder…
Love and un-depressed stuff,
Michy
Writing Through the Darkness:
Easing your depression with pen and paper.
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Posted in Personal, Writing | 22 Comments »
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:40 AM
I still hold the connection between writing and depression/anxiety is associative, rather than correlative. If we are born to write, which is to say our artistic proclivity lies in word craft, then it stands to reason writing serves as a primary means for catharsis. I don’t think that necessarily means a depressed writer produces dark, dreary work, but when I’m so full of emotion I can’t think straight, I have to poor it somewhere.
Depression and writing may happen simultaneously, but I don’t think depression — clinical or situational — breeds good writing. There are clinically depressed people who couldn’t write to save their lives — I have dear friends who can’t even string together a cohesive narrative. There are good writers who aren’t depressed and who write best when all is well.
It’s not coincidence; there’s definitely a relationship between our emotional experiences and our tendency, as writers, to use those experiences as fuel for our craft. I just don’t believe it fair or even rational to attribute our best writing to our depression. Training ourselves to produce our best work without sacrificing our health, mental or otherwise, is a better course than lowering ourselves into dark places for the sake of our work.
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:45 AM
I think there may also be a link between chronic illness and writing. A lot of us seem to have both a battle with depression and a battle with some other illness. Sadly, I found that many of things used to treat the chronic illness exacerbate the clinical depression. It was one of the major reasons that I decided to forgo the beta interferon for my MS. It was destroying my liver and messing with my brain chemistry.
I can’t take anti-depressants. I’m one of the people for whom they make the imbalance worse. A week on Lexapro nearly did me in and I wasn’t willing to keep trying (three failures with three drugs = you’re out). I can generally find my way back to balance other ways, but I know the chemical problem remains. Does it affect my writing? Oh yeah, generally in the form of anxiety that makes me think nothing is good enough so why bother. But sometimes, when I kick past that, it makes it really good.
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:46 AM
Nicely put!
I’m not disagreeing with you, either. I did say that my best writing from the past was often in the midst of depression or exhaustion, but I can also say that over the years, I’ve learned how to write like that even when I wasn’t depressed or exhausted. It did take training though, and I do sometimes still ‘touch’ that deep part of me when I write. I’ve just learned not to let that part of me consume me when I write and I’ve learned how to set it aside when I’m finished writing – sometimes.
I think you’re right though – we shouldn’t have to risk our sanity or health for the sake of our work. That is an exceptional point and I think it’s very important too.
Thanks for the comment!
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:47 AM
I take anti depressants too Michy, so I don’t know about all writers, but this right has some form of depression and anxiety disorder. I have had for years. Unfortunately, the depression is bad right now, due to recent circumstances. But I still write. It is a kind of therapy for me. When I feel down and depressed I write because I know it is something I actually can do, instead of feeling like I can’t do one simple thing.
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:59 AM
I can see that. I’ve never been diagnosed as clinically depressed or anything, but, like everyone, I get into my moods. And when I’m in one of these, I generally see two things as cathartic: stories (reading or TV) and writing. I had a really hard time about three months ago, and I started my blog. Most of my time was spent writing for it, and now that things have moved out, I notice that I no longer need the cathartic release that writing gave me, but I’ve settled into a regular routine, where I might no longer have a stockpile of three to five articles in advance, edited and ready to post, but I’ve found my rhythm that allows me to keep wanting to write that keeps me–for lack of a better term–sane.
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:06 AM
I think that it is likely that people who are depressed are more prone toward introspection which begets poetry and prose. I also think that the act of writing is a means by which a depressed person, who may feel like a victim of the world and everything in it, can exert some control over the worlds and characters they create on paper, or conversely shield themselves from interaction with the real world.
Poetry and other written expression can be therapeutic if it helps us to regain the ability to realize that we are also the author of our own real life experiences, and, more importantly, of our reactions to those experiences. Writing can also be a self-reinforcing instrument of isolation if we hide behind it and use our written words as rationale for lack of real communication between ourselves and the people around us.
I once felt as though some of my best and most creative writing came from anguish. Likewise, some of my favorite poetry flowed the pens of from tortured poets of centuries past. John Donne, for example, is probably my all-time favorite.
On the other hand, I think I am a better writer today, having moved past depression, because I carry decades more practice and a broader library of emotional experiences and perspectives from which to draw.
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Those three things that I remember the adults saying to each other about me all through my early childhood:
“He has a really vivid imagination,” and “He doesn’t play with the other kids that much.”
Add to that the realization that a notebook and a pen are so easily accessible…even at our income level then…and what’s a kid to do?
Being busy writing was not only my escape from current conditions, it was also my shield, as most folks were too polite to interrupt even me while I was writing.
Here’s to nobody having to know it…that they’re a poet. This is a great read as usual.
Thanks and stuff.
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Brad, what an interesting thought. Perhaps ‘experience’ is what makes a good writer, and when we are younger, we have to write from ‘emotional experience’ where older, perhaps wiser or at least more tried, writers can write from ‘past experience’.
I think writers need powerful emotion and vision from which to write… if you don’t have experience, then emotion is all you do have.
Interesting thoughts…
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 AM
ETA: That third thing they said was a gift from whatever “god” there is if there ever was one:
“Don. Won’t you go sit down and write for a while? We’re busy.”
I may not know which “god” I’m talking to…but I actually thank her for that.
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:27 AM
Excellent post, Michy! Thank you…
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:59 AM
I have depression and anxiety and sometimes writing is my only outlet. Even though sometimes I will write a great article( well in my opinion) and then because of my anxiety, I delete it. I have always written. When I was young like 9 or 10 I was trying to write scary books. My biggest obstacle is to overcome my anxiety of publishing the things I write. I will even type out comments for blogs, articles, etc. and then delete them. I don’t know why, I just do.
It does not surprise me at all that writing and depression could be related.
August 3rd, 2009 at 6:05 PM
This blog post is just too weird because I was thinking last week that I might have something wrong since I’ve been showing signs of depression over the past year. It dawned on me while I was in the shower, and literally crying about something that I wrote, and I’ve been rolling it around in my head for a few days trying to pinpoint my problem. This post and the comments give me something more to think about.
August 4th, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or physician. In fact I don’t have a degree in anything since depression, physically, makes me a idiot during the winter… when schools are traditionally open.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t read all the previous posts (I’m tired and depressed), so I may repeat what somebody else has said.
I know whereof I speak in as much as I have studied neurophysiology, and suffer from severe clinical depression. Clinical depression is caused by how your brain is built. Your behavior (personality) is caused by the way your brain is built, with your experiences overlaid. I say, “with your experiences overlaid”, because all your experiences are perceived through your brain, which has its own architecture. So! It seems to me that, generally speaking, the same brain chemistry that causes depression is the same chemistry that causes writers. We must find a cure!
In addition, part of the whole syndrome of clinical depression is poor metabolism. Due to poor metabolism, the body produces insufficient this, that, and the other to allow the brain to operate properly. For example, during the Summer, I can write brilliant little ditties like this. The weather is warm, and I am up and active (yeah, the sun is out too); my metabolism is at its peak. In February, due to the lack of metabolic stressors (things that make it run), my neurochemical factory will shut down, and I will become the idiot that some claim I am all the time, only for real. That’s why, Michy, you can write when you’re exhausted. You are exhausted by recent activity, which activated your metabolism. You may feel worn out, but your metabolism is finally nourishing your brain.
When you’re depressed, it’s hell to make yourself eat decent food and be active, but that is what is absolutely essential (Michy, you wrote an awesome article about foods that help with depression)… And if you use light therapy, please do some research to use it properly. It is not just a matter of turning on a “happy light”.
OK, I’ll sit down and shut up now…
Ned
August 4th, 2009 at 3:31 PM
Don’t shut up, Ned! I love reading what you have to say! Thanks for the kudos on my article about foods that fight depression too:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1501199/foods_that_fight_depression_eat_your.html
I try to follow a lot of all-natural options for healing, body, health, spirit, mind… etc.
Keep talking! I love it!
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
Love and stuff,
Michy
August 7th, 2009 at 11:47 AM
I’m just getting around to your blog, Michy, and very glad I finally did. This was an inspiring and informtive post and discussion.
I was probably born depressed though I didn’t get a diagnosis until I was in my forties — clinical depression, and possibly Bipolar II (we never got around to that). What I’ve noted is that even with clinical depression, everyone’s experience is different. And that probably has a great effect on their writing — when they write, what type they do, what moods help or hurt the writing process. For me, what most people would consider a depressed period is the time when my brain simply turns off. No thinking, no writing, and very little caring about being in that state. The upswing brings almost obsessive writing, reading, working through ideas, and the start of multiple projects that will never be carried out. I can’t take medication, so I’m still working out ways to avoid dropping into the pit or burning out on the highs. Difficult? Yes, but I suspect that if I had a normal mind, I might not be a writer at all.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:16 PM
Ohhh, Sylvie, I like that last part, “If I had a normal mind, I might not be a writer at all.”
Soooo true!
August 7th, 2009 at 1:03 PM
Sylvie Mac’s post is *way* too familiar. I’m afraid I’m fast reaching a point where, instead of starting the eight projects I probably won’t finish, I just shrug and don’t start them… Well they sure as hell won’t get finished that way… At least when I started eight, one or two might get done.
That’s actually why Accentuate had two fewer Sci-Fi short story entries than it might have.More often now, I find myself getting very frustrated about how different my life would have been if I weren’t a weregenius…
Ned
August 7th, 2009 at 4:16 PM
Wned, I was thinking more along the lines of long projects that are going to consume infinite time and energy — another blog or two, research for another book (when there are already two or three books with tons of notes and little else). For my everyday writing (blog posts, articles), I usually have a dozen or more projects in some stage of development. When I’m bored or burned out on one, there’s always something else to turn to. Some are temporarily stuck, some are “ripening.” Sooner or later, most of them get done. The trick is not to load yourself with projects that have specific deadlines, such as news.
February 18th, 2010 at 5:39 AM
Maybe I’m in the minority, but I’ve found that my best writing comes from a happy place. When I’m feeling down (and I’ve had some periods of what I would think qualify as severe depression), I find my navel gazing does nothing but produce crap writing.
February 18th, 2010 at 5:43 AM
I really think that the depression/writer question is a chicken/egg question. I personally think that those with mental disorders such as depression, anxiety or bipolar are more likely to find themselves in some type of artistic career. Ever since I can remember I have loved making up stories, but in middle school, I really took to writing as a hobby, which is also the time when my real battle with depression/anxiety began. I feel the need to write more when I am feeling more moody. Sometimes I get so frustrated with what I think of as the mental trap that writing seems my only way out. I journal constantly when I am in one of my funks. When I am feeling more balanced and at peace I tend to take part in activities that are more physical and less reclusive. Does this all make sense?
I think that having a mental disorder such as depression forces you to be more in touch with your emotional spectrum. I have to pay attention to my moods so that I can be aware of when I am starting to head into a cycle of depression. I need to be able to identify any triggers that cause these cycles. All of this self-awareness seems to foster my ability to articulate things that I might not otherwise be able to articulate. I need words that perfectly describe every emotion. I don’t think that my battle with bipolar disorder necessarily is the only reason that I am a writer/creative person, I enjoy crafting when I am in a happy mood, but I do think that it kind of fosters it in a way. My unstable moods pushes the boundaries of my mind and the boundaries of my vocabulary.
February 18th, 2010 at 9:00 AM
I find that I read more when I’m depressed… it is a means of escape. If you are a depressed person with some writing talent, it becomes your escape from real life. I think I actually write less when I’m in a funk. Then I get a little happier and spurt out a few articles. But I get what everyone is saying. But if you’ve ever been in that dark hole of depression and clawed yourself out of the darkness into the light… you never, ever want to go back to that bad place in your life. To this day, I can’t listen to Enya because it reminds me of that awful time when I was 20.
February 18th, 2010 at 9:20 AM
I wholeheartedly agree about writing and depression being interconnected. I’ve had depression problems my whole life and have begun a full time writing career. Since I am working from home, I tend to get lonely and the depression creeps up. Add in the fact that my 18 year old son moved out and is in college and I am super lonely.
I think the depression feeds on that. I need to get back on my meds…
I do a good bit of good writing while I’m depressed, however, I am way more productive when I’m on my meds.